Another "Hi"

Hi, assalamualaikum.

It has been a long time since my last update on this blog. To be honest, I did not update all this while because simply I feel discouraged and I felt it's useless for me to blabbering here.

Well, as cliche as it may sound, now yea, I am back. Yay for me. I should get an award or something, shouldn't I? Blah. 

So, umm. First of all, I would like to start this post with a Jumuah Mubarakah wish to all of you as today is the sayyidul ayyam. Who does not like Friday? Though here, Friday is not the last day of the schooling week, yet I am blessed. Because Friday is the day where Allah has promised so much of blesses and what not.

Alright. Apa yang dah aku buat selama aku tak update this blog? Too many of them tbh. Banyak ja events aku attended but semua aku malas nak update on here. Malas nak share. Malas nak tulis what's on my mind. In fact, my Facebook also aku tak update that much. Because yea, I like to leave my thoughts unspoken nowadays.

Maybe because simply at this stage of life, you'll be like in a stage that macam malas. Malas nak ambik port. Because of discouragement. Umm. maybe aku ja yang rasa macam ni. But not really, aku ada follow this guy on blog and Twitter named Kamal Effendi, he also feels the same way. But in this case, he is older than me, so the sentence should sound like, aku yang rasa macam dia rasa. Haha. Coincidence. But maybe I am a wallflower just like him so yea.

So, basically, my life as a second year dental student, is pretty much dull and boring and macam sama everyday. Basically, I just don't like the system over here. Suka tak suka, I am now approaching the end of my 3rd semester already. Lulz.

Yeap. Aku almost like to sigh with the things that happened here. I miss all those things back in Malaysia. Though our education system is not that tip-top like the one in Japan or Ireland but yea, I guess, our education system back in Malaysia is much, much, much better than here.

At least, all the basic needs that the students need dah memang tersedia dengan rapi oleh pihak admin Universiti dekat any campus in Malaysia, right? Here, nope. Pui. Yeah, pui is the exact word that they deserve.

Jalan dalam kampus macam sungai. Kelas 2nd year is at tempat yang sama dengan 1st year. Toilet kotor gila  siput babi. I know they are all under construction but cmon lah weh before construction pun sucks like ergh. Laboratorium tak macam lab. And tak cukup ruang rasanya kalau aku nak rant on this. All in all, semua suck kat sini.

"Kalau ga suka sini, pulang aja ke Malaysia!"

Well, memang pun do. If I were given a choice, Indonesia will never be in my list. Ni semua sebab terpaksa. And kau nak ke all the Malaysia students balik? Kang tak de sape nak bayar kat kau 25 juta right? PUI!

I don't understand the lecturers here. Well, not all. Yang mana sick-minded tu, sick tahap 99. Macam tak pernah ada gelaran dokter in front of their names. Mentality macam tak pernah pergi sekolah. Racist apa entah. 

Ergh. Okay. I think it's enough for me to rant about my university's stuffs. Penat tangan ja.

Next, I think I'd like to talk about discouragement. Yea, lately, this keeps haunting me. I'm not gonna blame anyone but yea, the truth is our surrounding does affect us. Bunga tarbiyah tu jangan cerita lah. Tak da. Kena cari sendiri semua. But yknow what, BADAR tak BADAR cerita dia sekarang ni, ketua pun macam tak reti buat kerja. So, aku jadi malas dah nak ambik port.

Plus, timbalan Ketua Umum Badar who is also my senior at my faculty, dah letak jawatan because she said, too much craps now in Badar, aku hmm apa lagi, lagi rasa discouraged nak buat kerja.

I miss all those kerja dakwah. Siapa ja yang tak akan rasa rindu bila selalu dah buat dulu back in college or school. But srysly condition skrg ni buat aku rasa muak dengan any activity by organization. Aha, speaking of organizations, aku actually juga one of the Malaysian students committee yang kami panggil PKPMI-CM here. Yea, I like the idea of having this organization tapi yang buat aku muak is, under this PKPMI-CM ada macam2 lagi persatuan bawah naungan.

You dont see my problem? Aha, problem dia sekarang ni, persatuan-persatuan naungan ni di-lead oleh bukan ahli Majlis Tertinggi PKPMICM, which supposed to be tak ada masalah. Tapi, for setiap event, asyik orang yang sama ja yang nak kena attend. 

I just don't know but I feel, tak patut ada persatuan2 bawah naungan ni. Yang paling tak boleh blah, is ada pulak Kelab Kebudayaan for each race, eg Indians, Chinese. Yang mana aku rasa this will lead to racism at last. Ah. Pening lah cakap pasal ni. Because too much kepincangan which I choose to ignore.

And speaking of being in PKPMI-CM, I was okay to be in this organization until I had to urus pasal students insurance like I am the agent of insurance here. I couldn't say no because it seems like this is my work. But, however, now i feel regret for accepting this exco. 

"You should try to say no."

I receive too many words like up here. Yea, skrg, that's what I am trying to do. I dont want to keep doing my extracurricular work till I neglect my main priority here. But frankly, I barely find my own time to study like what a dental student is supposed to do.

Hmm. Complicated right? The only thing I can do is to keep praying to Him to always give me strengths. Extreme strengths.

Umm. I think this would be enough for today. Some more, aku dah rasa lost track nak cakap apa. Rasa macam nak cakap benda lain but at the end ini lah yang aku mampu untuk tulis. To those yang maybe tercari-cari aku on this blog, hi, hope you guys do well in everything in your life.

I also have this quote as my phone screen wallpaper, "You have within you everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you." Just in case, you guys need something to make you feel rasa bebaloi baca post bejela aku ni. Nah, this quote.

All in all, I pray to Allah to always bless us. To always make us stay steadfast. I am just afraid that I couldnt end up my life with a good ending. Pathetic to feel this, but yea, siapa yang tak risau how will their life end be like? 

Right. Ciao. Salam alaik.

Outro - Unwell, Matchbox Twenty.