Saya Harus Berhenti Memberi Alasan dan Mula Membuat! #MegaOutbox2015

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.

Mmm mmm okay. Taknak komen pasal tajuk yang aku terfikir untuk post kali ini, tapi itulah dia. Harap ter"triggered" untuk buat hampa masuk dan jejak ke laman blog saya ini. Wahaha.

Jadi, pada tanggal 24-25 Januari yang lalu, saya berkesempatan untuk membawa diri ke acara yang julung kali dibuat oleh Outbox Malaysia iaitu Mega Outbox 1.0 di UniKL MFI, Bangi pada hari pertama dan di Taman KLCC pada hari kedua.

Apa yang Saya Dapat?

BANYAK. OKAY BANYAK SUMPAH TAK TIPU. Rasa facepalm banyak pun ada. Points and take home notes ada semua, insha Allah saya share all my screen captures of the notes later.

But the whole point(s) is / are 1) it is about who you are and you've gotta realize that you can be the change of the world. And the change is in your hand. AND IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU! 2) Don't just dream and keep the ideas inside your damned mind BUT SHARE THEM and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM!

Caps lock main peranan teramat di sini. Okay.

Pujian Buat Komiti #MegaOutbox2015

-- Okay, bukan nak pancing ke apa ka. Tapi as I have become one of the committee members in many projects and events dekat Medan along with Malaysian students there, I've gotta saya bila pasal start programo on the time CONFIRM KELAUT.

Kata dalam tentatif, start at 8 AM pendaftaran and the opening will be at 9 AM, ahaha guess when the event will start? Add both time with 1 hour after that. Yeap. Janji orang Malaysia. (Taknak cakap janji Melayu, sebab racist lah weh grr)

Tapi yang terkejut dan bestnya during this #MegaOutbox2015. It started on TIME gila kot. I was like woah, this is something. Ini baru cool!

C'mon people perangai "event start pukul berapa eh?" "pukul 8" "oh ok, pukul 10 baru start lah tu kan? aku tau. pukul 10 aku datang k" tu tolong and sama-sama kita kerjasama buang ke Laut Cina Selatan.

Because it sucks. man. Cakap nak berubah, tapi bila suruh on time, pfft. *pats myself*Soo as a review, I'm gonna give 4.5 out 5 stars to Day. Kaching!

-- And during #MegaOutbox2015 juga, depa guna this kind of system to show how much time left for every speaker. Like, green light for lagi 2-3 mins while red light i think it's for 1 minute. Memang berkesan I must say.

Okay, what else pujian I can think of right now is, the direct coaching masa second day. Anyhow anyway, sedikit frustration juga initially because the speaker that is supposed to direct coach us Ustaz Syaari/ PU Izzat  (I cant recall) tak boleh datang. I was expecting to learn more and more from him selain apa yang dapat during his talk on Day 1.

But it's okay, this world is not a wish-granting factory, Bro Izzudin pun not bad jugak. But pengisian dia bagi tu is mmm macam more to kebudak-sekolahan sikit (?) haha lagi pun he mentioned many time that he's more to teaching kids and teens on public speaking so I guess I understand, and biasalah, last minute, isn't it. But after all, it was ALL FINE. Soooo, 4 stars for DAY 2?

Plus, dengan Pengarah Projek. Afiq Sazlan, also CEO of HAS joined with us throughout the direct coaching and at the end he gave some input so okay lah, I guess it was forgiven (EH) (what I'm trying to say) (LOL)

Terkejut

As they didnt disclose who the speakers were for the event, I gotta say that SAYA MEMANG SANGAT TERKEJUT dengan SPEAKERS yang HADIR pada hari tersebut. Dengan dimulai dengan Ustaz Hasrizal (Saifulslam.com), I was LIKE WOAAAAA. MASHA ALLAH. And ada Sis Muharikah. (Mention them first because both of them are the people who I am really looking forward to see them live) so yeah.

Speakers yang lain of course lah menerujakan juga. Dengan idea idea hebat dan power of will yang depa ada, sangat inspiring. Allah saja tahu betapa cemburunya saya untuk mereka ada semangat yang sebegitu rupa.

Sebenarnya...

Sebenarnya to own a film making academy and to own a team semacam HAS, MTAS and Outbox Malaysia telah lama saya impikan dan plan since Ive graduated from highschool. Dan di sekolah juga, banyak kali berangan-angan dan plan itu ini, dengan Adilla, Syaza and some other good friends back in Al-Irshad regarding our contribution to Ummah.

Then, tadaaaa, habis Espiyem, sibuk tahler dengan post kesibukan Espiyem mungkin? Lepas tu sibuk dengan pergi PLKN nya blablablabla, tadaaaaaa sampai ke hari ni tak tercapai. Booom.

But. I'm grateful ada pemuda dan pemudi yang punya idea serupa dan semacam dan will power yang tinggi untuk start all these things. Satu tepukan gemuruh dan tumbukan ke udara. HOYEAH!

Bhaha, Omg cant believe what I'm writing. Okay that's all I think, I'm gonna let the pictures do the talk, maybe? Alright terima kasih. Wassalam alaik :)

PS - Nasi Ayam Masak Merah masa lunch haritu pedas. Balik tu jadi "hangover" sedikit. Tapi sedap!

Come On

A rambling post. Read it if you want.

So, semester two just started three days ago. The timetable is so packed and full which classes all start from 7 AM and end at 4 PM. What Im gonna say is I just hope that this semester will be nicer and more productive than before. This may sound too typical but yeah, I do hope this. Bukan apa, last semester aku asyik nak demotivate ja. Kali ni, aku rasa tak mau dah la perangai lagu tu. I mean like, demotivation is something that will just ruin your life & will make you even feel down. And tiring. Kan? Penat kan asyik dok demotivate ja. Negative vibes kot weh. Memang ah akan memberi signal yang tak berapa sihat utk hidup. So, yeah, aku janji pada diri aku kali ni, even I am so damn tired or apa-apa perasaan yang negative, I m gonna suck it up like a sir. Haha. Idk what I mean by like a sir. But one thing is, like a sir means classy and cool. Itu prinsip aku. Ahaha.

Okay, aku tulis blog macam bajet ada orang nak baca. Lulz gila aku. 

So yeah, selama masuk 4 hari kelas berjalan, hari 1 - 3 aku rasa dah yang aku boleh istiqamah dengan azam aku nak keep being positive, tup tup mai hari ni aku rasa penat yang amat; rasa nak tidoq, rasa tkmau fokus dan rasa macam nak curse everything out. Tahu tak kenapa. Nak tahu? Hah, meh la baca lagi tulisan aku di bawah ini. Teruskan membaca.

Air kat rumah aku still sucks. Hari tu cuti semester, tuan rumah aku ada dah panggil plumber mai pebetui apa yg tak pebetui. Awai2 aku sampai hari tu okay ja, mai hari 3 aku dok syok dengan kelas, air buat masalah pulak. Dush, macam asdfghjkl lagi. 

"Alah, masalah air ja pun, chillax ah. Yg tu pun nak emo. Duh,"

Wei, tahu dak bila air bermasalah segala akitiviti yang lain pun akan bermasalah jugak?! Ah man, mohonlah mengerti.  Bila air takda tahu tak aktiviti membasuh baju jua terbantut? Dan tahukan anda nak berak kencing pun payah? Nak apa lagi... Hah! Semua semua yang berkaitan dengan air lah. 

Aku nak rant on pun jadi malas sebab aku tahu jarang ada orang yang nak paham dengan masalah aku. Kalau paham pun apa boleh  buat, cuma nasihatkan supaya diri ini bersabar ja lah. But yeah, still I need words from sahabat-sahabat cause this is how I can stay strong and positive so do stay please don't ever leave me. Ewaaah.

Cara aku tulis post pun macam tak da pola tapi peduli apa pulak aku, nak jadi satu cerita pulak aku nak lakarkan pola cerita sebelum aku tulis post. Makan masa lagi, buang tenaga lagi. Aku menulis bila masa aku nak dan perlu ja. Mostly bila masa aku rasa macam seteres. Ahah, yeah. Ampunlah, mungkin kalau ada di antara kalian hendak cari motivasi di laman ini, mungkin anda tersilap laman. Sila alt F4. Sekian terima kasih, harap maklum.

Kedua, aku rasa macam nak cerita pasal...hm. Pasal irrelevance yang usually berlaku kat sini. Dulu aku rasa aku tak mampu nak tanggung ketidakrelevan yang macam-macam kat sini. Bila aku dah habis satu sem, tiba- tiba aku rasa macam kagum pulak dengan diri aku sendiri. Lol. Bukan nak riya' weh but people cmon hampa cuba mai dok sini, tak semua boleh tahan kot! 

Memang masa aku dalam sem 1 kerap kali aku terfikir apa betul aku ni ambil degree kat sini and yadda yadda, kerap kali aku terfikir aku nak stop studying here but many things and people prevented me from doing so. 

Ketiga, aku rasa macam nak cerita pasal... aha, pasal diri aku yang sekarang ni mungkin tak sama macam dulu. Sorry guys if you found me so different right now compared to before. Mungkin dulu, ada sesetengah daripada hampa semua ada yg mungkin jadikan aku sebagai role model dalam sesuatu (eceh perasan) (tak, sungguh ni). Cause bukan apa, cause sometimes I feel like I am letting some other people down, frustrated with myself.

Aku tak se"solehah" yg lain, that you guys can find like Aisyah Syakirah or Diana Bahrin or Angel Pakai Gucci's owner or sesiapa ja lah. Idk why and what turned me to this current me. Aku cakap terus terang eh. Mungkin aku tak pakai tudung bulat bidang 60 like you expect some lepasan sekolah agama and some girls who are or were involving in kerja da'wah. I'm still wearing a hijab of course cuma, not that big. Still covering what I need to cover. Aku pakai sneakers pi kelas. Selalu berseluar dan  prefer to wear shirts. And nowadays I prefer to wear shawl or pashmina. And once again I reckon, I'm still covering what I need to cover.

Kenapa aku cakap macam ni. Aku tak mahu org yg pandang aku selama ini berubah pandangan. I mean like I am still me. Maybe I become more me now. And ada juga sesetengah insan yang kenal aku said that I'm different. Cause appearance aku macam 'ranggi' mungkin but no guys, just because people who are "islamic" dont wear like I do doesn't mean that I am not good. I am not saying that I am an angel or what but cmon guys, islamik tak semestinya terletak pada pakaian. Tak semestinya hanya yang berserban, tudung bulat bidang 60, berjubah atau yang berpurdah yang berpeluang mendapat title "baik" in the aspect of Islam.

As long as the outfit is according to what Allah had said, whats wrong with wearing it right? Modesty pun penting juga dalam prinsip Islam kan? And why do you have to make it hard? Kalau rasa selesa utk pakai tudung turki, atau syria atau pashmina with sneakers to cover yr aurah, go on lah kan. As long as the guidelines are there right?

Just saying guys. I want to make things clear. That's all. Alala. Apa aku merepek ni, pointless as usual. 

That's all I think. Salah silap harap dimaafi. Islam is for all. Moga kita husnul khatimah menjadi milik kita. Salaam alaik.

Outro - Adik Remaja by Raihan.

Post Ini Tak Ada Tajuk. Baca Baru Tahu.

Ayo Toss!

"Natasha, ayo tos!" mengangkat kedua tangannya tinggi.

*krik krik*

"Loh, orang Malaysia emangnya kek gini ya. Sombong kali..."

"Nggak la Ben, aku nggak bisa. Laki sama perempuan nggak bisa bersentuhan.."

"Bukan orang Malaysia aja Ben... Aku juga." Jihan bersuara dari belakang. Terasa dia punya teman untuk bersuara. Tiba-tiba.

"Oh, maaf ya kalian.." memohon ampun sambil menangkup kedua telapak tangan di depan mukanya.

Fuh. Alhamdulillah. Selamat.

***

begini caranya..

"Oh ya. You all semua anak baru di USU? Ambil apa kat sana?"

"Kami semua FKG, Dato',"

"Oh baguslah, lepas ni tengok gigi orang la ye. Boleh buat free scaling kat saya."

Semua ketawa. Tapi aku pura-pura ketawa. Lame bagi aku.

"So, so far so good? I dulu pun belajar kat sini. UISU. Ambil pengajian Syariah. So I tahu hidup kat sini macam mana. Lepas I ambil syariah, balik Malaysia I pergi ambil diploma bisnes pulak."

"Oh, dato' taknak orang tipu dato' ke?"

"Haha tak lah, I rasa macam perlu je diploma bisnes ni."

*terhenti*

"Anyways, my name is Dato' !@#. You all ada masalah apa2 you all cakap je. UM** kat Medan insha Allah boleh tolong you all." sambil menyua tangan. Cara biasa yang orang korporat lakukan. Ya, biasa tak semestinya betul.

Semua muka seperti tak mahu. Tapi dia sua tangannya betul2 di depan muka. Semua salam dengannya. Sampai ke aku, aku sorok tangan bawah meja."Tak paham lagi ke, aku taknak salam kot..." Dia terdengar omelan hati aku barangkali lalu..

"Hah yang ini, tak boleh salam ke? ."

"Aku rasa tadi macam ada dengar orang tu jurusan Syariah...."

Battle of the Nafs

Insecurities are everywhere. Everywhere.

It is such a lie when a girl seeing other girls who are better than herself not feeling anything. She must feel something inside that tells her, " Why aren't you as good as her?" "Why aren't you wearing like her?" "Why aren't you as beautiful as her?"

I, frankly speaking, as girl, admit that I feel the same way too. Seeing someone who is better than myself in everything that she does. Seeing someone who is better than myself in covering aurah. Seeing someone who gets the chance to be someone in tarbiyah & da'wah.

Who says that I'm not trying? I'm trying and struggling to ensure myself staying steadfast on this journey. It is not that easy.

"It is not that complicated actually though. You've just got to surrender your heart to Allah, and let Him take a good care."

Yes. I do admit this. This this this.

 "Well, it is a good thing for you actually, to feel that way. Without realizing it, you are just getting better"

But till when do I need to feel this way? I'm just tired to keep holding on.

 "Be patient. La takhaf wa la tahzan. Innallah ma'ana"

"This world is a struggle. Jannah is the award for those who struggle in this Dunya. The sweetness of Jannah.. imagine it"

 I need someone who gets me. That would be interesting.

And the battle continues..